


Finding Home

by Aevilok



Series: FAHC Pride [1]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - GTA, F/M, Fake AH Crew, Homophobic Language, M/M, Multi, Romance, Swearing, Transphobia, about fahc during pride, agender!matt, agender!ryan, also gay, cause gta au, lots of gay, plus other eventual romance, pride month, some violence, trans!Jack, trans!michael
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2017-06-13
Packaged: 2018-11-13 16:11:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11188698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aevilok/pseuds/Aevilok
Summary: The first part of a series of fics and one shots about FAHC and pride. Michael and Gavin went through a lot before the FAHC and it's not always easy for Michael to put that behind him. This story is Michael reliving all the horrible shit they've gone through to get to where they are, ruling Los Santos with the Fakes, happily in love with each other and Ryan.





	Finding Home

Michael woke as the sun peaked through his bedroom windows, early morning rays falling over him, blanketing him in their warmth. Mind still engulfed in the fog of sleep, he reached over to the bedside table to grab his glasses before peering blearily at the alarm clock resting there. 6:17. Far earlier than Michael had been planning to get up. After staying up past 3 in the morning working on heist plans with Lindsay and Trevor last night, Michael had more than earned some time to sleep in. But as he shifted over from his side onto his back, he could already tell that further sleep would elude him, for every time he closed his eyes, he was taken back to the dreams that had woken him in the first place.

He shouldn't be surprised. This time of the year his mind always liked to wander back to those times, that place. Even now, after all these years, the memories from that time still felt fresh, raw, like the monsters in their shadows could leap out to get him at any time. He could tell that Ryan and Gavin worried about him, even though they hardly said anything about it. Gavin, because the memories were painful for him too, set in a place and time that he'd rather forget. Ryan because they were from a time before him, back when it had been just Gavin and Michael, desperate to survive and willing to do anything to keep each other safe. He knew that no matter how much he loved them, no matter how much they loved him, there were just some wounds that his words couldn't touch.

Michael wondered if that was why Ryan almost seemed to distance himself a bit this time of year. He always seemed to be busy with something. He would be helping Geoff out with a drug dealer he was finding problematic or he'd be staying late to help Matt work on tracking a target or he'd be volunteering to go on hits that would take him away from their apartment for days at a time. Even when he was home, he was quiet, reserved, often leaving the room at seemingly random moments so it was just Gavin and Michael left alone together. It was like he was trying to give Gavin and Michael time to themselves, and Michael was grateful for it. 

Ryan and Gavin were both special to Michael, and he loved them both more than he could ever put into words, but the comfort he sought from both was different at different times. There were some times when Michael just needed Ryan to hug him, hold him close in his warm arms and whisper soft words of comfort. Somehow when Ryan whispered reassuring nothings, they had a way of sounding real, almost as though he was casting a magic spell to make them come true. But there were also times like this, where only Gavin, Gavin who had seen it all and lived through every moment at his side, could reach the wounded parts of his heart. 

Even now, Michael realized dimly, Ryan wasn't in their bed with them, not that that was really indicative of him giving them space. Ryan had always been an early riser and generally functioned on less sleep than most everyone else in the crew. Michael thought it was probably a left over symptom from his time as a lone mercenary, where he had had no one else to watch his back while he slept. He knew that Ryan's sleeping habits weren't a reflection of his trust in them, more just a habit he couldn't break. If he ever got too bad, all it took was some gentle words from Michael or Gavin to get him to try and sleep. As Michael listened now, in the stillness of the morning, he thought he could hear the sound of the TV murmuring faintly from the living room and figured that that was where Ryan was.

He was pulled back into his immediate surroundings when he heard Gavin stir beside him. Gently shifting over onto his other side under the blankets, Michael turned to watch Gavin as he fidgeted in his sleep. Michael stopped himself from snorting at how ugly Gavin looked while sleeping. Drool leaked from the corner of Gavin's mouth and half his face was squished into the pillow, his huge nose pushed at an angle. His hair was pointing up in every wild direction as if it couldn't decide which way it wanted to go. Without his usual sunglasses and makeup on, Michael could see the bags under his eyes, that seemed to be a little darker than they usually were. Michael saw his boyfriend, in all his drooling glory, and couldn't help the fond smile on his face.

While he couldn't help but find the Golden Boy of the Fake AH Crew stunning when he was decked out in every jewel under the sun, golden eyeliner winging his eyes and making him a veritable god in appearance, he would trade him any day for the man in the bed beside him. Because laying next to him, snoring ever so quietly, was the man that only Michael and Ryan got to see. The tired, ugly, sleepy, open, vulnerable side of the Golden Boy, the side that was honest and caring and adorably soft. And as Michael laid there, staring at Gavin peaceful resting beside him, he felt his mind wander, back in time, back to a point where sleepy mornings like this had been nothing but a distant hope for the future.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Rachel Jones, you get your ass down here right now, young lady!"

Michael jerked back from Gavin, who he had been lazily kissing on his bed and made to get up. He had no idea what had his mom so pissed at him, but whatever it was couldn't be good. Gavin, still high on Michael's kisses, whined and clung to his boyfriend's hand as he pulled away. "Micoo~ Don't go. Stay here, with me. Let that old hag rot alone down there."

Michael sighed and rolled his eyes at Gavin's whining. Pausing to press a gentle kiss to his boyfriend's forehead, he said, "You know I would rather stay up here with you forever than go confront the monster, but if I don't go, then she might come up here, and the last thing I need is her removing my door again." Gavin just pouted in response and kept his grip tight on Michael's hand. Pulling away and stepping off the bed towards the door, Michael simply said, "Gavin."

Sighing, Gavin released him and collapsed into a pile on Michael's bed, sulkily watching as he walked towards the door. Just as Michael opened the door, he called out. "Michael boi."

Michael turned back with a sigh, expecting to hear more whining about why he should stay. "What, Gav? And you know the rules, it's Rachel whenever this door opens."

Gavin grimaced at that, muttering, "But I don't love a Rachel, I love my Michael."

"Gavin," Michael said, warning in his voice.

Rather than respond, Gavin got up from the bed and strode across the room before taking Michael firmly in his arms and kissing him deeply. When he pulled back, he leaned forward and whispered in Michael's ear, "I love you, Michael Jones." With that he promptly turned around and walked back over to collapse once more on top of Michael's bed.

Blush on his cheeks, Michael just stood there for a moment, breathless. Then, in a whisper he knew was just loud enough for Gavin to hear, he said, "I love you too, asshole," before leaving the room and closing the door behind him. Pausing to take a deep breath to calm himself, he started walking slowly towards the stairs, hoping to let some of the color leave his cheeks before he got downstairs. While walking Michael tried to think about why his mother was likely summoning him. 

It could be any number of things, really. One of his teachers could've called from the school to tell his mom how he literally hadn't attended any of his classes. Maybe his dad had run out of beer and Michael was being sent to the store to go get some before the man could become sober for once in his life. Hell, maybe she was just going to screech at him about not making the dishes clean enough the last time he washed them. Whatever it was, he really didn't care, he was just resolved to listen to the tirade and do whatever stupid task he had to to make her shut up so he could get back to his boyfriend and his waiting lips upstairs. 

When he reached the bottom of the stairs, he headed towards the kitchen knowing that's where he was most likely to find her. It was already 6 in the evening which meant Dad was home, awake, and already very drunk in the living room, and even she wasn't stupid enough to go in there unless she had to. Instead she spent most of her time in the kitchen or the dining room, while Michael's brothers hid downstairs playing video games and Michael either just stayed out of the house or hid in his room. And sure enough, when he looked through the kitchen doorway, she was sitting at the kitchen table, tapping her foot in irritation, no doubt at how long he had taken to come down here. Rather than walk all the way into the room, he just leaned against the doorway and called out to her. "What did you want, Mom?"

At hearing his voice, his mom stood up with an irritated sigh. "What I wanted, Rachel, was for my daughter to come promptly when I call her. Honestly, do I have to -" When his mom turned to face him, she cut off abruptly as shock covered her face. "Rachel, what on earth are you wearing on your chest?"

At her words everything in Michael's world froze. Numbly he looked down to see that he had forgotten to put on a hoodie when he left his room, so now he was just wearing a tank top and, horrifyingly plain for the world to see, a binder underneath that. He felt his breath hitch in his throat as panic seized his heart. How could he have been so stupid? He had been so careful up until now. He hadn't even kept his binder at home. Gavin brought it with him whenever he came over and he took it when he left, so Michael's mom wouldn't have a chance to find it whenever she went snooping through his room. He had done everything in his power to prevent this moment from happening. And now, as he looked back up at his mom and saw the horror on her face, he realized there was one situation he hadn't prepared for. He hadn't been prepared to get caught.

He could hear his blood rushing through his ears and felt his pulse racing lightning fast. Forcing words past the lump in his throat he tried to explain. "Mom, I -"

His mom's hand shot up to cut him off before he could get out another word as the shock in her eyes was slowly replaced with coldness. "Silence, Rachel. I don't want to hear whatever lie you were just about to try and feed me. I can understand enough from the sickening display in front of me. I think, before this conversation goes any further, we should get your father."

If Michael's world had been frozen before, he could feel it shattering now. His breath picked up pace to match his heart beat as panic as cold as ice filled his veins. "No, Mom, please," he pleaded, "Please, we don't have to bring Dad in here, I can explain, I promise, don't bother him, please, mom, please, please, please don't get him, please." He felt tears sting his eyes but couldn't stop them with the fear filling him so strong it was making him dizzy. He knew just how his father would react. His father was a "god-fearing man" and on more than one occasion, Michael had been forced to listen to him rant about what he'd do if he ever got ahold of an abomination like Michael.

But his mother, heartless as always, simply looked at him with rejection in her eyes and a scowl on her lips before turning from Michael towards the kitchen entrance towards the living room. Each step of her heeled foot stabbed into Michael like a knife. Somewhere in the back of his head, he knew he should be running, should be trying to get as far away as he could, but he didn't move. Simply stood there, frozen, as he heard his mother call into the living room, the name of the man who sired him, the man would murder him, on her lips. "Thomas, come here for a second dear. I need your help with Rachel."

Seconds passed and it was like the world had gone silent waiting for his dad's response. After what felt like ages, but Michael was sure was only a few moments, he spoke. "Fuck off, Tara, I'm watching the game. You deal with the whiny bitch."

Michael saw his mother frown before she wandered further into the living room, to get his Dad to get off his sorry ass and come deal with their "rebellious daughter". The moment she was out of his sight, it was like a spell was broken and Michael turned around and ran for the stairs. Logic would've said go out the door, leave the house, don't go up, where you'll be trapped, but it wasn't logic his heart wanted to listen to right now. It was Gavin. And Gavin was upstairs.

So Michael took the stairs, two at a time, and ran as fast as he could towards his room. Throwing his door open and then shut behind him, he stood there for a moment, chest heaving as his eyes met Gavin's shocked ones at his abrupt entry. "Michael, love, what's wrong?" Gavin asked, and that was it. With a cry, Michael collapsed onto the ground, tears streaming down his face as sobs wracked his chest. In a moment, Gavin was at his side, holding him in his arms, murmuring comfort and asking what was wrong. But all Michael could do was cry and cry as he clung to Gavin's shirt like it was a lifeline. After a minute or two he finally managed to choke out, "She... knows. Telling... Dad."

Gavin immediately went stiff with shock before bringing Michael even closer to his chest. They sat like that for a few minutes, Michael crying and Gavin cooing in his ear, gently rocking back and forth, trying to calm him down. When Michael's sobs had quieted somewhat, Gavin gently tried to pull back. Michael, in a panic, clung on even tighter, wild eyes searching Gavin's for some explanation.

Slowly putting his hand down on Michael's and loosening his grip, Gavin leaned forward and kissed Michael's forehead, his left cheek, his right, each of his eyelids, his chin, before leaving a brief kiss on his lips. Resting their foreheads together and holding Michael's hands in his, he whispered, "Michael I have to go." Still unable to speak coherently, Michael had just whined in response, leaning towards Gavin. Shushing him and placing another kiss on his forehead, Gavin added, "It's just for a moment Michael and then I'll be right back okay. I'm gonna go try and fix this." And then got up and was gone.

Aching with how alone he suddenly felt without Gavin, Michael curled in on himself right there on the floor. Gavin had said he was going to go and try to fix this. Michael would've laughed had he been able. Fix this? Fix what? He wanted to ask. Gavin couldn't fix something that had never existed. There was no family for Gavin to put back together. Even if this had never happened, Michael's mom wouldn't suddenly love him. His dad wouldn't suddenly be a dad. No, there was nothing for Gavin to fix. All Michael wanted now was for Gavin to come back and for it to all be over. He didn't care how.

And he knew it was selfish to bring Gavin down with him. He loved Gavin, he should want him to survive, go on without him. But even here, brain addled by fear and exhaustion and panic, Michael knew that that would be worse. Because when he imagined a world without Gavin, a world where he outlived Gavin, and having to live in that world, he felt pain beyond anything he had ever felt or anything he ever would feel. Living without Gavin just wasn't an option. And he knew that the same was true for Gavin. If he had simply stayed downstairs, waited for his dad to come and exact "God's justice", more than never forgiving his father, Gavin would never have forgiven him, for leaving him behind. And that's why Michael didn't feel guilty in his choice.

Sure, maybe it was cowardly to just give up, to doom them both rather than fighting back. But Michael was just so tired. From the moment he had been born he been dealt a losing hand, and it was only appropriate that he fold, bow out gracefully. And who knows? Michael had never been one for all that spiritual shit, but maybe those wack jobs talking about reincarnation were right. Maybe he and Gavin would be reborn, in another place, another time. And maybe then they'd finally be free and be able to be together. Because if there was one thing Michael did know that he believed, it was that no matter what, no matter how many lifetimes they lived, he and Gavin would be together. He would fight any god or universe that said otherwise. 

Michael was jolted from his thoughts suddenly by the sound of gunshots ringing out, two in quick succession and then another moments later. His first and only thought was Gavin. Gavin who was not here, who should be here. Gavin who had said he was going to fix things. Gavin who had probably gone downstairs. Gavin who had gone to meet his father. Immediately Michael sprang up and clambered for the door handle, trying to wrench it open as fast as possible. Sure he had been fine with him and Gavin going out together, but this wasn't together. This was Gavin being murdered. And Michael was not okay with that. 

Spilling into the hall in a mess of unsteady limbs, Michael rushed towards the living room as fast as he could, all but falling down the stairs in his hurry. He ran through the kitchen on his way and paused for just a moment to grab a kitchen knife. He was gonna kill whoever dared hurt Gavin, kill Gavin. Rushing into the living room, Michael yelled out Gavin's name so his father would know just why he was about to die. "Gavin!"

"Michael!" Michael heard his name called in shock and slowly turned to where it had been said, just to the right of the entrance. Standing there, holding his father's shotgun, was Gavin, looking a little shaken but over all in perfect health. Breath finally reaching his lungs again, the knife clattered from Michael's hand as he surged towards Gavin, pulling him into his arms, threading his shaking hands into his hair. Gavin latched back onto him with equal fervor and together they just stood there, breathing each other in and relishing that they were still alive still safe.

Michael had no idea how long it was before he remembered the gunshots. They had seemed unimportant in the wake of Gavin being okay. Lowering his hands to Gavin's back and pulling back just far enough to look Gavin in the eye, Michael whispered, "I heard gunshots. You weren't hit were you?" Gavin shook his head. "Then what...?"

Gavin let out a shaky laugh and tried to smile, though it looked more like a grimace. With a rough jerk of his chin, he gestured to the rest of the living room behind Michael. Confused, Michael twisted in Gavin's arms, still not willing to leave them. He could hardly believe what he saw. Slouched in that damned recliner that he could never care enough to leave was his father, two large holes at home on his abdomen, red splotches blossoming around his gut and his chest. Just behind him was Michael's mother, a large hole in her forehead. Blood was streaked on the wall behind her where she had collapsed against it and slid to the floor. They were both dead, unmoving, their eyes vacant. 

Before Michael even had a chance to react to that, he heard swearing from the kitchen doorway. Swinging his gaze over that way, he saw his brother, Peter, standing there staring at the bodies where they were laying. Michael moved his body between his brother and Gavin. He had no idea how his brother was going to react, but Michael's only concern was protecting Gavin. Peter's first move was to turn his haunted gaze over to Michael and Gavin. 

"I... I heard gunshot from the basement and I... What happened?" Peter asked.

"I -" Gavin started but Michael quickly cut him off. 

"They found out I was trans and freaked out. Dad went to kill me and so I killed them first. Self defense," Michael said as he glared at his brother. Peter had always gotten along best with their dad; he was the last person they needed to be dealing with right now. Michael could already see the doubt and disgust on Peter's face at his story.

"How could you?" he asked incredulously. "He wouldn't have actually killed you. He probably just wanted to scare the Satan out of you, since it's clear you've been possessed, if that thing on your chest is any indicator."

Michael felt Gavin bristle behind him, and he spoke before Michael could stop him. "Shut the fuck up you piece of transphobic trash. Your brother just told you he was attacked for who he was and now you're condemning him? What's wrong with you!"

Peter scoffed and rolled his eyes before responding. "Please you're probably half the reason she's so confused. You probably pressured my sister into feeling like she had to be a man in order to please your sick homophobic desires. I should kill you for doing this to my family." As if to back up his threat, Peter took a step towards them.

"Peter," Michael said, tone lethal, "You lay one finger on him and you will be the third body I put in that corner."

Peter paused, looking hurt. "Rachel..."

Michael grimaced and squared his shoulders. "My name is Michael."

Peter paused for a moment before shaking his head. "You need help, Rachel. That man has confused you. Come over here and we'll call the police and have him arrested. Then we can contact a doctor who can fix you." He held his hand out towards Michael. 

Michael felt his anger building and he yelled, "My name is Michael!" Without waiting for Peter to respond, Michael turned back to Gavin and took his hand in his. "Gav," he said, a certain measure of gentleness returning to his voice, though the underlying rage was still there. "We need to go. I'll pack a bag with the essentials and then we are gonna leave this house and never return."

Gavin blinked in surprise for a moment before nodding and giving Michael his best confident smile, though it was a little shaky. "I'll go anywhere with you, boi." 

Michael squeezes his hand before letting go and pushing past Peter to head towards the stairs. When Peter put a hand on his shoulder to stop him, he just immediately turned around and punched him right in the jaw, knuckles stinging in satisfaction as he watched Peter crumple to the ground from the hit. Turning back around, he cut through the dining room and up the stairs, Gavin following closely in his wake. 

When he burst into his room with a flurry of motion, Gavin paused in the doorway, watching as he dragged a duffel bag out from underneath his bed. "Michael..."

Focused on shoving essentials into his bag, like his phone and charger and some changes of clothes, Michael merely grunted in response. 

"What are we gonna do now?"

The serious question gave Michael pause. Downstairs it had been easy to rely on bravado and rage to talk about leaving for good, supporting themselves. But in reality, Michael had no idea what the fuck they should do next. Gavin had just murdered his parents for fucks sake. There was no way they were going to be able to have even a semi normal life. But Michael did know one thing for certain. So, when he turned to Gavin, that's what he said.

"We are gonna do whatever it fucking takes to survive. No matter who or what we have to face. And someday, we're gonna find a place to call home. And it's gonna be you and me, together forever, boi."

**Author's Note:**

> fuck this was supposed to be a short one shot and now it's a 4k word chapter of a multi chapter fic. i just love trans!Michael so much the words just kind of poured out of me. hopefully ya'll are ready for a longer fic~


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